Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
