I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize