I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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