hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
