If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think brook has ever known best
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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