Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
