I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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