So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
