omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
