Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
