I love black thongs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
