I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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