I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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