Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
