If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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