It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
