Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
