just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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