you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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