So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
In America we eat man semen.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
