Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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