Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
