i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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