She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
