Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found your dick twin last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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