bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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