Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
