Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
