I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
