Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
