I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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