My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
