Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
