i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
