Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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