i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
