Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
