he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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