It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
