How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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