He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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