he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
