it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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