I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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