I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize