two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There are leaves in my underwear?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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