So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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