I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
