i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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