People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
