Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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