she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
