I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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