you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
