drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
