1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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