I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
only you would photoshop your dick
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
