i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
