thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
