help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
