Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You have to summon your inner elephant
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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