Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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