youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
