So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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