I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
