the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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