OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
