But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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